By now u shoulda, somehow ,figured out what u gonna do.
It's a cold world and realizing and working your way up to your dream/-s is never easy. so many things I liked to say to you, so many things I emotionally want to feel, something I'm missing. I ignore it and try to be the best friend, sister, daughter, niece, grandaughter, cousin, role model as possible. I just can't, because I want to live. I would never ever in a million years want my brother or younger cousins to do some of the things I've done. I've made lots of mistakes and I am totally aware of them BUT I regret nothing, because those mistakes make me who I am today, and individuals are not meant to be copies of perfection. I'm sorry mom for letting you down several times, I lie, yes I do but when I do I only do it for your own best. Every singe day people see me with a big, wide smile on my face. Yes I am happy, because I make myself happy. I forgive, love, and make the best out of everyday.
When people tell me my life is easy I get really upset for a reason, they don't know me, my life ....at all. If I told you all my secrets I bet you wouldn't tell me my life is easy anymore, no my life is not a struggle because I think positively and make the best ut of everything. But it's a chioce I made so let me smile all I can, but also cry if I need to. I feel like I was never allowed. Not that I want to, other than possibly tears of happiness.
Respect what you have, cherish what's there, please. A couple of weeks ago I met a happy 19 year old girl, Colleen. Beautiful with big green eyes. I talked to her and she was a wonderful open person, we talked about everyday things, whatever girls talk about. Suddenly she asked me and one of my friends if we wanted to see something. She literally took off her hair(wig), she was bold, she had fought cancer at the age of 19. She inspired me SO much, she smiled, laughed and made the best out of her life!So why can't we...you.....stop the fucking selfpitty and complaining about the smallest things, if it's a joke it's different but really complaining and not appreciating is just so unnecessary.
I hope I made all of you wonderful readers/blog followers think about your lives and how those small arguments, fights, etc. don't mean shit. Sadness becomes a contagion, we don't want that.
XOXO, jenny
I'm not a good writer so excuse my poor english and forming of sentences haha.
